Angelique Combs: From homelessness to hope
David Gunter; Feature Correspondent
Published: November 15, 2009
SANDPOINT – The young woman is well-dressed, well-spoken and the owner of a growing business. You would never have picked her out as someone who was, until fairly recently, homeless. In rural America, the face of homelessness defies the big city stereotype of down and out drifters who push their worldly belongings around in grocery carts and sleep in doorways.
Angelique Combs is a single mother whose family joined the ranks of the small town homeless. In her case, that meant bouncing from the home of one friend to another, crashing with her children on living room floors until the welcome ran out. Eventually, the only place left to run was her mother’s house.
Angelique was lucky – she had relatives in the region. Other homeless families she encountered were less fortunate.
During the day, a surprising number of them managed to get their kids off to school and show up to low-wage jobs at fast-food restaurants and discount stores. At night, as long as the weather permitted, these same families converged on makeshift “homes” – campsites in state parks; old RVs or camper tops on the back of trucks left for dead on some compassionate soul’s property along a county road; even parked cars when better accommodations were lacking.
Nov. 15-21 is National Hunger & Homelessness Awareness Week. To mark the weeklong event, Angelique Combs made a courageous overture: She volunteered to step forward and put a face on a faceless issue. She offered to give voice to a population that rarely gets heard. Without coaxing, she opened her past wide to shed light on the demons, the drugs and the “dark places” that led her to being homeless.
She has been given confidence to look these issues in the face – to stare them down, as a matter of fact – because of help she received from a Bonner County based organization called Transitions in Progress Services. When Combs first met with the group, it was known as the Bonner County Homeless Task Force. The “H” word, she said, nearly caused her to ignore the assistance she was being offered. There is pride involved, she explained, and even when a person has no place to call home, they don’t want to be called “homeless.”
Can you give me your definition of homelessness?
In my definition of homelessness, it is coming to a point where you realize that you cannot provide for your family. Financially, you don’t know whether the lights are going to be shut off or whether you’re going to be able to put a roof over their heads. Homelessness is having to depend on other people to make ends meet.
Most people have an “inner city” mental picture when they think of someone who is homeless. Is that an accurate picture?
No, absolutely not.
There are homeless people living in rural areas and they are having to move in with friends or family members because of things like losing jobs, or because of tragedies in their families, domestic violence – there are a number of reasons.
Were you surprised by what it meant to become homeless?
Absolutely. I never thought that I would be here, ever. But I came to a point in my life and in overcoming addictions where I realized I didn’t have the means to provide a home for my family.
How did you get to that point?
I really don’t have an eloquent way of putting this, but I struggled with learning and reading and school was never easy for me. I hid from my education for most of my life and I decided to seek an education. After I got my G.E.D., I wanted to continue my education so that I could get a good job and raise my children to give them a house, a home, a life. But what happened was that I got in over my head.
I didn’t understand the work that was going on, but they were passing me through by doing the work for me. I was also in a very unhealthy relationship at that time. I was afraid, because I didn’t feel like I could keep up at school and I had opened myself up to this person in the relationship. I started using drugs as a way to just check out and I found myself in the worst addiction I’ve ever been in.
The darkness just happened and I fell deeper and deeper. But I never stopped praying. I decided I didn’t want that life for me and my children, so I got out of the relationship and then we were evicted because we couldn’t pay the rent.
I was scared. I knew we needed somewhere to live and my choices were to either go back into the darkness that I’d been living in, that I created for myself, or get help to find a way to support my children and not go back into that life.
So breaking away from that darkness – ending that relationship – created your homeless situation?
It did. But I couldn’t stay in it. I couldn’t for myself and I couldn’t for my children. It was taking from me.
How did you find help once you became homeless?
I heard about a program that was called the Bonner County Homeless Task Force at the time and I said, “There’s no way.” That wasn’t even a thought for me. A homeless person is someone who is pushing a shopping cart on the side of the road.
When you first came across the task force, was it the word “homeless” that made it so real that your first reaction was “no way?”
Yes. That was devastating for me. It was almost easier to go back into the darkness where I had been than to acknowledge that this was where I really was – was homeless.
And then I thought, “If this is a place that can help me provide for my children in an honest and legal way and help me get strength – and hope.” (Long pause)
It turned from “no way” to hope for me. I went and turned in an application and for the first time in a long time, I was able to be honest. I answered questions about all the things I was struggling with and they didn’t look down on me. They let me know it wasn’t going to be easy. They were firm, but they were caring and from that point on, my life completely changed.
In what way?
I have been able to have my children in a stable home. I started my own business last year. The strength I have inside and the love I have for this community and all the resources that stood behind me have made me forever thankful.
Have you met other people who, for lack of a better description, would rather be homeless than be called homeless?
I still see people today in that same situation and I try to point to the direction that I came, but they won’t even hear of it. A lot of their situations are the same – getting out of unhealthy relationships and trying to start over in a healthy environment.
I’ve heard it said that for lower-income families, there is a razor-thin line between having a roof over your head and being homeless. Is it really that fragile?
Oh, absolutely.
Everything depends on whether you get your full time in at work or what kind of job you have. It’s all payday-to-payday.
You mentioned how your own image of the homeless person with a shopping cart has changed. What have you learned about the face of homelessness in this area? that, I couldn’t afford to pay the rent.
Your experience with the homeless task force – now called Transitions in Progress Services – was kind of a “tough love” relationship, wasn’t it?
This is very personal for me. My journey back uphill and my life changing started the day I walked in there and they told me that they would help me. Right off the bat, they offered counseling, food for my house, gas for my car and a home to put myself and my children in.
Virtually everything you were looking for at that time?
Everything. Everything.
And not only that, I was offered resources for employment and rides to get to those resources until I could stand on my own feet. And I was offered an ear – they listened to me.
But surely there were some expectations as far as what you needed to do?
That came before everything else. I told them about the issues I was struggling with and they said, “That’s fine, but this is what will be expected of you.”
Some of those expectations were employment, routine drug checks if they felt it was necessary, home inspections to make sure my house was being kept up. I was expected to find and keep a job and lead a clean and sober life.
It’s pretty easy to see how financial problems, bad relationships and addiction can lead to homelessness. What kind of skills have you had to develop to avoid going back there?
One of the things I heard when I first started this process was that, every day, you “suit up and show up.” Whether you feel like you can or you can’t, you suit up and you show up. Pretty soon, what you need to do, you’ve done.
In this stage of your life, with a home and a job, what advice do you give to people who are currently homeless? What do you tell them?
Not to let your pride get in your way. If you need help, ask for it. That’s the only way to heal. If you don’t ask for help, you’re not going to get it. And if you want to heal, there is so much love and resources in the community around you, but they can’t help you if you don’t let them.
It’s both sad and ironic that, in your quest for an education, you got into financial trouble and had to drop out. Do you have any plans to go back to school?
At this point, I need to accept the reality that life has been my education. Not to exclude that I won’t have an education, because I will not stop until I get one. I tried for 12 years to get my G.E.D. and failed miserably until, one summer, a beautiful lady named Cynthia Nielsen who has a school in Sandpoint, taught me phonics.
That next fall, I took my G.E.D. and passed with top scores.
I always had a desire to learn. I want a college degree. I want to learn everything there is to learn. I want to write papers and maybe even articles someday. I want an education. I don’t have it at this point, but I do want it.
How old are your children now?
I have a 14-year-old son, an 11-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son.
And what do you tell them about the importance of education?
This is a daily conversation for my family, that education is a foundation of your life. If you have an education, you can do anything you want to. Without it, you might not like what you’re going to be doing.
The biggest thing that I’ve been working on is my confidence around my education, because I let that stop me for so long. I made a promise to myself and to God that I will not hide from it and I will push through it and I will stand up and let my story be heard. I was asked to read – I had the opportunity to read – in front of 900 people as a way to give service. Throughout my life, I wouldn’t have done it. I would have run. But I stood up and I read. I read. And I’m a better person for it. I’m not going to run from it anymore.
You used the word service – what are your plans as far as giving back to the community?
I volunteer as a board member for the Bonner Community Housing Agency. We’re working to provide affordable housing and home ownership in rural areas. That’s one of my passions – I believe that everyone should be able to get help over the stumbling blocks of home ownership. I’m serving on the board so that I can not only benefit myself, but to help others in this community who follow behind me.
As part of this comeback story, you also managed to start your own business. How did that take place?
This is an amazing part of my story. I lost my job at the end of 2008 and I didn’t know what to do. Through my journey with the Transitions in Progress, I started working with a lady named Deborah Baptist. She was the one pointing her finger at me during that first interview who said, “This isn’t going to be a walk in the park. We’re going to help you, but here’s what you’re going to be doing.”
Deborah gave me the first signs of hope and relief. She also did nothing but encourage me and give me opportunities. When I was let go from my job, she gave me the encouragement to start my own business. I thought, “I’m just out here as part of a transitional housing process and, although I’m doing well, there’s no way I could do that.” She gave me the support, the love and everything I needed to believe in myself and push myself further.
What is your business?
My business is Angelic Services. I have a property management and a cleaning business. It’s amazing. I’ve been managing apartments and homes and finding homes for other people.
So you’ve become part of the solution?
You know what? I have. I love placing people in houses and I can’t wait to get the opportunity to help people get into a home that they’re buying. One of the biggest plans I have is to help people find resources and solutions within the community – a core place where people can bring their strengths and serve one another.
I also want those resources to include a way for kids to get help when they’re struggling with their education. I’ve been there and I can relate to what they’re going through. Instead of them going down a winding path, a dark path, I want them to be able to go someplace to get help. That’s a huge part of what I want to do with my future and it’s what I try to do on a daily basis with my own family.
You’ve gone from being someone who was at her wit’s end, addicted and afraid and wondering where she was going to live with her three children, to becoming a lady with some very big ideas. How does it feel to be Angelique Combs today?
You know, it feels really good. I feel thankful. Instead of saying, “What can this world do for me?” I’m saying, “What can I do for my town? What can I give back to them?” That feels so good.
DAVID GUNTER/HNN
Angelique Combs and her children lived as part of North Idaho’s rural homeless population until she started a new chapter of life with the help of the Bonner County based Transitions in Progress Services program.
Infobox
“One of the things I heard when I first started this process was that, every day, you ‘suit up and show up.’ Whether you feel like you can or you can’t, you suit up and you show up. Pretty soon, what you need to do, you’ve done.”
ANGELIQUE COMBS
“One of the biggest plans I have is to help people find resources and solutions within the community – a core place where people can bring their strengths and serve one another.”
ANGELIQUE COMBS
Copyright, 2009, The Coeur d’Alene Press. All Rights Reserved.